101 Funny Hiking Quotes for Instagram: Puns, Jokes, and More

If you’re looking for funny hiking quotes for Instagram, you’ve come to the right place.

This list of funny hiking quotes for Instagram includes short hiking quotes, funny hiking captions, funny hiking puns, and funny hiking jokes that will make perfect hiking captions.

I scoured through hundreds of Instagram captions and pulled only the best hiking quotes for this list of funny captions.

With 101 funny hiking quotes to choose from, there are plenty of hiking captions to choose from for your next hike and all of your hiking photos for the rest of the hiking season.

Make sure to tag Amateur Adventure Journal on social media (@amateuradventurejournal) if you use one of these funny hiking quotes for Instagram!

Funny Hiking Quotes

“Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“Getting to the top is optional. Getting down is mandatory.” – Ed Viesturs
“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee.” – Demetri Martin
“My most memorable hikes can be classified as ‘Shortcuts that Backfired’.” – Edward Abbey
“That’s the difference between backpackers and holidaymakers. The former can’t help but invite hassle whilst the latter pay to escape it.” – Harry Whitewolf
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“Hiking is the same thing as walking, only hotter and twice as far as you want to go. But usually, you’re glad you went.” – Anita Diamant
“The way up to the top of the mountain is always longer than you think. Don’t fool yourself, the moment will arrive when what seemed so near is still very far.” – Paulo Coelho
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clarks
“Hiking—much like drinking—is something that sounds more fun to the uninitiated than it actually is.” – Mindy McGinnis
“Hiking’s not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty.” – Sonja Yoerg
“Trails are like that: you’re floating along in a Shakespearean Arden paradise and expect to see nymphs and flute boys, then suddenly you’re struggling in a hot broiling sun of hell in dust and nettles and poison oak…just like life.” – Jack Kerouac
“Hiking and happiness go hand in hand or foot in boot.” — Diane Spicer
“Fact: Hiking is actually just walking, only on dirt or rocks or other uneven surfaces. Or walking where an animal larger than you can kill and eat you.” – Brendon Leonard
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.” – Bill Bryson
“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” – Muhammad Ali
“You know the old joke about how to survive a bear attack: Make sure you hike with someone who you can outrun.” – Carolyn Jourda
“Let’s not mince words: Everest doesn’t attract a whole lot of well-balanced folks. The self-selection process tends to weed out the cautious and the sensible in favor of those who are single-minded and incredibly driven. Which is a big reason the mountain is so dangerous.” – Jon Krakauer
“I have two doctors, my left leg and my right.” – G.M. Trevelyan

Funny Hiking Captions

Sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.
Never hike alone in a bear country. Always hike with someone you can trip and outrun.
Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.
Over the river and through the woods to nobody’s house I go.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice… some girls are made of adventure and wine and all things fine.
Hiking is the answer. Who cares what the question is.
I have a therapist. Her name is nature.
Here is a photo of me and my therapist.
I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.
I hike to burn off the crazy.
Hiking side effects include sweating, euphoria and general awesomeness.
If you are too broke to take her on a date, go hiking and eat that bitch out on top of the mountain. Be creative, people.
We survived hiking together; we can survive anything.
Netflix and chill? More like Trailmix and Hill.
I just wanna kick it in the woods with my birches.
Getting blisters with my sisters.
I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.
You are as helpful as a blister on a hike.
The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.
I don’t get it. The trail looked so flat on the map.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hiking, it’s that the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.
I used to hike… but then I got a drone.
DEET is nature’s cologne.
Backpacking: An extended form of hiking in which people carry double the amount of gear they need for half the distance they planned to go in twice the time it should take.
Speechless (and breathless!)
Why is it that it is only after reaching the top that I realize I have to hike back down?
Think outside. No box required.
It’s all fun and games until you hear a twig snap behind you.
Did you know the actual difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?
Climbing at altitude is like hitting your head against a brick wall — it’s great when you stop.
Adventure served on the rocks.
How to avoid stress at work: 1. Don’t go to work. 2. Call in sick and go hiking.
Started from the bottom now we’re here.
Hiking: where you practically kill yourself to feel alive.

Funny Hiking Puns

Wood you believe that I’m actually on a hike right now?
Hiking is a hill of a lot of fun.
I love hiking — I don’t take it for granite.
Hipsters often prefer hiking backcountry rivers. They’re less mainstream.
I wood never leaf a hiker behind.
Hiking puns are hill-arious!
I went for a hike, now I’m feel oak-ay.
What did the river say to the hiker with the clunky boots? “Water those?!”
Sometimes you just need to change your altitude.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
This hike really peaked my interest.
May the forest be with you.
Getting to the top of the hill was such a re-leaf.
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill-areas!
Wood you like to go for a hike with me?
Woke up feeling pine.
What were you saying? I lost my terrain of thought.
The hill looked hard at first, but I got over it.
I bought a new jacket for a hiking trip. It’s called a trail blazer.
This hike through the fall forest was unbe-leaf-able!
Did you hear the story about the mountain? I couldn’t get over it.
Went on a tree-mendous hike in the woods.
Hiking can be a pine in the ass, but I love it.
This hike rocked.
To summit all up, I had a great time on this hike.
Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.
This is my kind of streaming.
I bought a pair of hiking boots from a drug dealer. I’m not sure what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.
I made a hiking playlist with music from The Cranberries, Peanuts, and Eminem. It’s my Trail Mix.
This hike was beautiful, but it sure had its ups and downs.
This hike was great until we got to the top. Then it all went downhill.
My legs really hurt after this hike. But that’s fine, who KNEES ’em?
Hiking to this view was the “high” point of my weekend.
I came across two talking rocks while I was out hiking. One was shy, but the other was a little boulder.
When I’m in a bad mood, I go on a hike to change my altitude.
A friend invited me on this hike, and as an avid hiker, I was inclined to accept.
This backpacking trip was not just difficult, it was in-tents!
I was walking along a trail and ran into my friend named Nick. It was quite a see-Nick trail today.

Funny Hiking Jokes

Why did William work on making paths and trails? Because where there’s Will, there’s a way.
What do you do if the feet of the hiking robot breaks? You reboot it.
What is the catholic priest who loves hiking called? A Roamin’ Catholic.
Which is the laziest mountain? Mount Ever-rest.
What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss? “I’m not lichen this.”
Where do apples go hiking? In the Apple-achians.
What do you call a married couple walking through the woods? Hitched-hikers.
Why did the queen’s husband go to the top of a mountain? Because he was the high king.